A big Texan stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around in Mexico .
While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, "What is that you just served?"
The waiter replied, "Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are called Cojones de Toro, bull's testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!"
The cowboy said, "What the heck, bring me an order."
The waiter replied, "I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy."
The next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order, and that evening was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites, inspecting his platter, he called to the waiter and said, "These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday."
The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Si,Senor. Sometimes the bull wins.
AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
A young blonde woman was driving through the Florida Everglades while on vacation. She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the young Blonde declared, "Well then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair of shoes for free!"
Charley, a new retiree greeter at Walmart, just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Every day he was 5, 10, sometimes 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean shaven, sharp minded and a real credit to the company and obviously demonstrating their "Older Person Friendly" policies.
One day the boss was in a real quandary about how to deal with it.
Finally, he called him into the office for a talk. "Charley, I have to
tell you, I like your work ethic, you do a bang on job, but your being
late so often is quite bothersome."
"Yes, I know boss, and I am working on it."
"Well good, you are a team player. That's what I like to hear. It's odd
though, your coming in late. I know you're retired from the Armed Forces.
What did they say if you came in late there?"
"They said, 'Good morning, General. Tea or coffee this morning, sir."
First you tell your friends that you are having an affair.........
Three Aussies were working on a high-rise building project - Steve, Bruce and Bluey.
Dr Visit for a
An elderly gentleman... had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'
AAADD - KNOW THE SYMPTOMS.....PLEASE READ!
Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder. Somehow I feel
Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. - Age Activated Attention
Do me a favor. Forward this message to everyone you know, because I
Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!!
Camper's Weather Station
A blonde was speeding in a 35 mile per hour zone when a local police cruiser pulled her over. The police officer who walked up to the car also happened to be a blonde. She asked for the blonde's driver's license.
The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, "What does a driver's license look like?'
Irritated, the blonde cop said, "You dummy, it's got your picture on it!"
The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom. She held it up to her face and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license", then handed it to the blonde policewoman.
The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, "You're free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this."
Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle, they walk over to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, 'Dat's dem.'
The owner comes over and asks if he can help them.
'Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere,' says Gerry.
The owner puts the budgies in a cardboard box.
Paddy and Gerry pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into Gerry's truck to drive to the top of the Connor Pass.
At the Connor Pass , Gerry looks down at the 1000 foot drop and says, 'Dis looks like a grand place.'
He takes two birds out of the box, puts one on each shoulder and jumps off the cliff.
Paddy watches as the budgies fly off and Gerry falls all the way to the bottom, killing himself stone dead.
Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Paddy shakes his head and says, 'Stuff dat. Dis budgie jumping is too dangerous for me!'
Moment's later; Seamus arrives up at ConnorPass.
He's been to the pet shop too and walks up to the edge of the cliff carrying another cardboard box in one hand and a shotgun in the other.
'Hi, Paddy, watch dis,' Seamus says.
He takes a parrot from the box and lets him fly free.
He then throws himself over the edge of the cliff with the gun.
Paddy watches as half way down, Seamus takes the gun and shoots the parrot.
Seamus continues to plummet down and down until he hits the bottom and breaks every bone in his body.
Paddy shakes his head and says, 'And I'm never trying dat parrotshooting either!'
IT IS NOT OVER YET...
Paddy is just getting over the shock of losing two friends when Sean appears.
He's also been to the pet shop and is carrying a cardboard box out of which he pulls a chicken.
Sean then takes the chicken by its legs and hurls himself off the cliff and disappears down and down until he hits a rock and breaks his spine.
Once more Paddy shakes his head.
'Stuff dat, lads. First dere was Gerry with his budgie jumping, den Seamus parrotshooting... And now Sean and his hengliding!'
Through the Desert On a Man With No Ears
A man was in a bad accident and was injured. But the only permanent damage he suffered was the loss of both ears, which made him very self-conscious. However, he received a large sum of money from his insurance company.
It was always his dream to own his own business, so he went out and purchased a small, but expanding computer firm. But he realized that he had no business knowledge at all, so he decided that he would have to hire someone to run the business. He picked out three top candidates, and interviewed each of them. The last question of the interview was always the same.
"Do you notice anything unusual about me?" he asked the first candidate.
"Yes. You have no ears."
He quickly eliminated the first candidate.
"Do you notice anything unusual about me?" he asked the second candidate.
"Yes. You have no ears."
He quickly eliminated the second candidate.
"Do you notice anything unusual about me?" he asked the third candidate.
"Yes. You're wearing contacts."
Thinking he had found the man for the job he said, "That's correct. How did you know?"
"You can't wear glasses if you don't have any freakin' ears."
Two Irish hunters chartered a plane to fly them to Canada , to hunt
moose, and they managed to bag six.
Laughter is supposed to be good for us,so I thought that I would add a page where we can add some jokes or funny stories. Sometimes we have experiences that may not be funny at the time, but after the crying is over we can look back and laugh at ourself. Been there a number of times! Enjoy the jokes and if you have a good clean joke or story to tell, let us here from you.
Cartoon Updated Daily
The Last Argument
Humor @ This Old Campsite Dot Com
This Old Campsite
I got stopped for speeding yesterday!
I THOUGHT I COULD TALK
MY WAY OUT OF IT, UNTIL THE OFFICER LOOKED AT
MY DOG IN THE BACK SEAT
Five surgeons from big cities are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.
The first surgeon , from New York, says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."
The second , from Chicago, responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."
The third surgeon , from Dallas, says, "No, I really think librarians are the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
The fourth surgeon , from Los Angeles chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over."
But the fifth surgeon , from Washington DC, shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no testicles, no brains, and no spine. Plus, the head and the butt are interchangeable ."